The world loves to categorize our feelings into neat, binary labels of happy and sad. This makes us miss out on the so many of the human emotions that live in between these two extremes. Our lives are not a simple toggle between joy and sorrow; instead, they encompass a vast spectrum of feelings. This spectrum is where we truly live, and understanding it is key to embracing a more fulfilling and content life.
The Binary Illusion
The worldly narrative frequently pushes us towards the pursuit of happiness while urging us to avoid sadness at all costs. This dichotomy is simplistic and misleading. It suggests that happiness is the ultimate goal, and anything less is a failure. Yet, in striving to be perpetually happy, we ignore the colorful spectrum of emotions that define our existence.
Life is not a constant high or a never-ending low. It is a dynamic journey with peaks and valleys, but most importantly, it is a series of moments that exist in between these labels. To deny this is to deny a significant part of our human experience and, in the process, miss out on the wholeness of life.
The Golden Mean
Aristotle introduced the world to an amazing concept, known as the Golden Mean. This idea provides a timeless framework for understanding the spectrum of our lives. He proposed that virtue lies between two extremes, and that a ‘good life’ exists in between these two vices. Courage, for instance, is the balance between cowardice and recklessness, generosity lies between extravagance and stinginess, honesty is situated between brutal bluntness and deceitful flattery, and temperance falls between indulgence and self-deprivation.
Similarly, I propose, serenity exists between happiness and sadness.
This philosophy emphasizes that extremes are seldom ideal. Instead, it is in the balance — the mean — where true virtue and fulfillment reside. By applying the principle of ‘the golden mean’ to our emotional lives, we can see that it’s not about chasing perpetual happiness or avoiding sadness but finding equilibrium.
Embracing the Spectrum
Living on a spectrum means acknowledging and accepting the full range of our emotions. It means understanding that it is okay to feel a mix of joy, melancholy, contentment, and even anxiety — all in the same day. This acceptance is not a resignation to negative emotions but a recognition of their role in our overall well-being.
Think about your typical day: you might feel a sense of accomplishment at work, frustration during your commute, joy when reuniting with loved ones, and reflective melancholy as you wind down at night. Each of these emotions contributes to the richness of your day and your life. You can allow yourself to experience life more fully and authentically, if you embrace this spectrum.
The Moments In-Between
Our culture often glorifies the highs and dramatizes the lows, but it’s the in-between moments that make up the majority of our lives. These moments might seem mundane, but they are where we find stability and peace of mind. There’s a pristine stillness within us, sitting quietly in a room with someone, reading a book. No words are exchanged, no overwhelming emotions are shared or experienced, but a deep sense of calm and serenity blankets our existence. These are the moments that I am talking about.
Imagine the simple pleasure of a morning coffee, the calm of a quiet evening walk, or the satisfaction of completing a routine task. These are the moments where life happens, where we build memories and find our true selves. Embracing these in-between moments is the key for mental and emotional health.
Finding Peace of Mind
Peace of mind is not found in the relentless pursuit of happiness or the avoidance of sadness. It is found in accepting the spectrum of emotions and finding balance. By doing so, we can achieve a state of serenity that is not dependent on external circumstances but rooted in internal equilibrium; a ‘homeostasis’ of sorts.
This balance allows us to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and grace. It provides the strength to face adversity without being overwhelmed and the perspective to appreciate joy without clinging to it desperately.
A Life in Balance
I live on a spectrum, and so do you. So does everyone around us. For a fulfilling life, embracing this spectrum is essential. We must allow ourselves to achieve a balanced, content existence by understanding and accepting the full range of our emotions.
Let us celebrate the highs, acknowledge the lows, and cherish the moments in-between. For it is in this balance that we find peace of mind and the essence of a well-lived life.